They say that citrus fruits are very important and their vitamins are essential for daily living.

Many years ago I was attending a church and the women put on a ‘Christian’ fashion show. I couldn’t care less about a fashion show. I was out to learn about God and all he was about not such silly, superficial events.

Then I learned that it truly was a ‘Christian’ event in that all the clothes that would be modeled would have to be scriptural at some point. Oh, yes! That was right up my alley!!

At that time in my life, I was really delving into the fruits of the Spirit. This is when I began to notice that there were many so-called Christians that wore their fruit like a badge. The fruit did not exude from within them but only by an outside appearance.

I was able to model two different dresses or outfits for that show. I took my best dress and I bought lots of plastic fruit. I stuck Velcro to the fruit and my dress. The fruit hung all over the outside of my dress. Of course, this brought much laughter from the audience! I was hoping God would speak to those serious about him about the fruitless concept of trying to make others ‘think’ they were bearing fruit when in fact they were only wearing it.

If I were to do it again I might add something to resemble the fruit worthy of repentance.

**The second dress I modeled was a beautiful wedding gown. I strutted out on stage doing my elegant turns to let everyone see the dress. Then when I felt I had their utmost attention I slowly lifted the hem of the gown ever so slightly to show big army boots underneath. It was supposed to be representing the Bride that wore combat boots. Or how we as the Bride of Christ are in a spiritual war for our very lives.

The Truth About the Crucifixion ~~ A Dawnism Disclaimer ~ This is my interpretation of the crucifixion just for today. This is not THE truth but a Dawnism for the day.

I am thinking today that the truth behind the crucifixion is that it was solely perpetrated by the Christians themselves! Let me explain. I am sure you have noticed that you have had one, two or more truly well-meaning Christian friends or ‘brothers and sisters in the Lord’ that had a ‘word’, ‘prophecy’ or something other to give you straight from Gods mouth. I am sure you have heard that they prayed about ‘your’ situation and God told them thus and thus. Therefore, you need to do this or that or you will be out of Gods will.

This is a redundant problem. It is kind of like being constipated or having hemorrhoids. Not everyone has the problem. Just a selected group that fit into whatever category of bad eating patterns or maybe an over-indulgence problem. On the spiritual front I think I will call this a ‘Plethora of Pastors Pride’ and they certainly have no problem with passing it down to the flock.

Ok, so we all know I am going through a divorce. Why would these Christian folks ask me something as dense as, ‘Have you prayed about this?’ Uh.. golly no… I flipped a quarter. What do you think! Of course, I prayed about it! Constantly, non-stop, persistently, relentlessly, all the time, frequently, always!!! (Doinks!)What do they think? While I was getting a pedicure I flipped a coin and it… fell in the water unseen… so I flipped another and… it said, go ahead and divorce the bloke???

Come on now dear fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord! Are you so gullible and filled with your own fanciful delusions to think that only YOU hear from God? That you are so mighty that only YOU pray continuously?? That God only speaks through YOU??

Then… oh my I feel a Pentecostal movement about to happen… the Holy Spirit is shaking me… never mind, it’s gone. Ok, then… and don’t get me wrong, I have so been there, done that and shoved the t-shirts down their throats, we have the gall to think that our way is THE way! And unfortunately this tends to come from the babies in Christ! The single person will coach me on my marriage, the childless couple will tutor me on child rearing, and the newlywed will instruct me on how to make my marriage last?? EH? What’s up with that?

Yes, I remember the scripture that says that God will give wisdom and to not to let them despise your youth or something like that but again all this needs to be taken into historical and biblical context.

What happened to being prudent? When I was younger, I would have never had the gall to tell an elder one, meaning someone older than me, older in years, marriage, experience, etc., that I knew better than they did. Any book learning I could have acquired would never equal to real life experiences. Yet we have these well-meaning Christians all running around giving words out like candy at Halloween time! They consider themselves God’s special messengers. They are so puffed up in their delusion that God not only talks to them but they are his mouthpiece.

Well fancy that! But guess what? He speaks to me too. I may not be living my Christian life the way you think I should be. I may not interpret the bible the way you do. I may not believe all the things that were illegitimately taught to me in all those years of my church going. But I am in the best place God has for me for right now in my life and IF… I say IF I am doing something wrong… IF I am hearing wrong… IF I am interpreting the scriptures wrong then have faith my friend that God is more than able to speak to me and lead me into all truth… maybe in his time… not yours.

If you spend so much time praying and hearing from God about things other Christians should be doing then continue to pray, not for revelation into my situation but that God would give me the revelation into his perfect will and peace throughout.

Why do I think, for today, that the Christians crucified Christ? Because ‘Christians’ can be judgmental, prideful (Godly pride of course), know-it-alls, condescending, snobby, and all too religious for their own good and Gods. ‘Christians’ will stab you with their pious words; slap you with their godliness and call you on the carpet if you don’t do it their way. They will rebuke you and say God told them to do it to justify their actions.

The bible tells us who really crucified Jesus on that day he died upon the cross. But we crucify him daily with out righteous thoughts, copious thoughts, and wicked hearts.

Father, forgive me for being righteously rude, for crucifying your son repeatedly by my self-righteous acts and condemning words. Help me to be a true follower of Christ and not just a follower of the movement of Christianity. Cause me to seek your face for all my needs and to learn to wait on you. Let me rest in your peace and the words that you have given to me for me. I love you Father and desire to do good for your glory.

And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.~~ Jeremiah 3:8

All my years in the church taught me quite a bit. It taught more bad than good unfortunately. I was 24 with three children, and just lost a baby. Two of my kids were deathly ill requiring me to be in the emergency room 3 nights a week, multiple weekly doctor visits, breathing machines and bottle upon bottle of medications. My husband at the time ran home to his mommy every other month for a month or two. That wasn’t the bad part. That was the good times. When he was home, there was a constant barrage of mental abuse towards the kids and me. I grew up with mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. I tried for the sake of Christianity and the church to hold on and pray it through.

Late one night while on a personal prayer vigil I decided that if God intended my kids to be abused then maybe he wasn’t who I wanted for a god. Certainly, my God would not want me to keep my kids in this situation. I decided on a divorce and 2 days after telling my husband my decision he had me served the papers.

I struggled so hard for fear that I was letting God, the church and Christianity down because I was unable to uphold the scriptures. The one that comes to mind is ‘God hates divorce’.

That was 23 years ago. Wow. I am almost twice as old. Twice as wise? Not so much! But here I am going through an unwanted divorce. Again, in my spirit or flesh I want to find the scriptures that will tell me easily if God will be eternally mad at me, if I will lose my rewards, or if he will ever talk to me again. Geez, how many times can a person go through this divorce process in a life without being disowned or something?

I started a Google search for biblical answer to ‘God’ and ‘divorce’ and funny thing what I bumped into. God divorced Israel! What!?? Oh, I am sure I heard that taught somewhere in my almost 3 decades of Christianity but it certainly was not one of those loud, get in your face messages the preachers wanted you to take notes, get the CD and remember for your life. No not this one!

Now my Christian friends are reminding me that God in fact did not divorce Israel but that he was just giving her an ultimatum. So being the diligent person that I am, I went to the Greek. I am not trying to bring on opposition, rather I NEED to be able to discern for myself what the scriptures say and mean for myself apart from all my well-meaning Christian friends and pastors thoughts.

Greek for ‘bill of divorce’: bill= letter (of instruction), written order, commission, request, written decree, legal document, certificate of divorce, deed of purchase, indictment, sign. Divorce= divorce, dismissal, divorcement.

That sounds like a full-fledged divorce to me! It doesn’t sound like or imply an ultimatum.

Then I hear about a verse in Malachi that says, ‘God hates divorce!’ Wow. That is strong. But when I go to look it up I cannot find it. I will write a second part of this blog to show my finding on what Malachi was talking about.

One reading, which was very helpful, can be found at http://www.tyndale.cam.ac.uk/Brewer/3Weddings.htm. This person did an in-depth study for Tyndale on God and divorce. It is very enlightening. Either in this paper or one that was a writing about this paper it said that the reason God hated divorce was because he went through one and knew the pain involved in loving one so deeply and being shunned. He completely understood the depths of the broken heart and all the pain involved. They said this is why he truly hated divorce. It could be. I will have to research before I give my yea or nay on that one.

Either way, what I learned this week is that God himself got divorced and that he is not going to cut me off for doing something that he himself did. My God is not a hypocrite. If it was ok for him then I am sure it might be ok for me. Is it the best decision? Who knows? Divorce is never easy for either partner. There was a cleaving and now a strong pulling apart. For me unfortunately, the pulling apart started or happened a long time ago. This is just ending what has started too long ago.

The paper I mentioned above says a lot more. Maybe I will write more on that. I know that this is a touchy subject. The very people that they are putting their trust in mislead most Christians. Why won’t a Christian church tell you that God got divorced? Or that this walk with Jesus is not about a set of do’s and don’ts. Jesus came to abolish the Ten Commandments yet we allow ourselves to be roped in by them again and call it obedience or submission or some other silly name that the institutions have chosen.

Be blessed and enjoy God today!!