My husband and I are in a place where one of our daughters husband left her and the kids with nothing. Another daughter just lost her job. We are in a place where we as parents have to help them get to the next place in their journey through life but be able to do it without enabling them.

We spent the week helping the unemployed daughter get her resume all polished and posted on the internet. She went on one interview already and has two set up for Tuesday. She has taken an online test to assess her computer skills. We have looked at all her bills to see what needs to be paid versus what to hold off on until the money is coming in again.

We are leading her with our knowledge yet letting her take the responsibility to forge ahead. She is doing great. It is a daunting task when one is suddenly unemployed.

I think of a man I contacted a while ago that said God never answered any of his prayers. I think of God being so very patient with us when we are in rough spots in our lives. He cannot just do it all for us. He can lead us in better directions but we need to take the initiative to forge ahead and handle the task at hand.

Yes, we may get tired and there usually is relief for a time but then we have to continue on. And God is there every step of the way. Like a shepherd to his sheep. Gently prodding and moving them to greener pastures. There are days when there is no green grass in sight but the shepherd in his wisdom keeps prodding knowing that if they keep moving forward they will eventually come upon the flourishing spots.

I pray that I will have the strength to keep moving forward. To know when to rest for a time and let God be God. To know the difference between God’s wisdom and mine. To know that he may not answer every prayer in my time or in my way but that he would show me the insufficiencies of my prayer, the selfish requests and give me the ability to pray his will be done at all cost.

I was cleaning the baseboards this morning. Why? Some say because I am a clean freak. No. I was on the floor playing ball with the dog and noticed how dirty they were and... I am just not a dirty freak. It took all of 3 minutes to clean the baseboards where I was and down the hallway to the bathroom. No biggie. I can move on and do whatever else was planned for the day.

I always try to see how things figure into the Christian version. Can I now say I am a Jesus freak because I am NOT a Satan freak? No. I am a Jesus freak because of who Jesus is in my life, because of what he has done for me personally; for all he has secured for me and delivered me from. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a ‘freak’ either. I love my husband but I am not a freak for him.

I am very appreciative of all that Jesus has offered me. I am grateful for the fact that he does what he says he will do. Do I misinterpret what those things might be? Absolutely.

In further thinking about the word freak, I realized that I am a freak about something. Truth. I cherish ‘truth’ above all else.

Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. ~John 14:6

Every time I see the blog title ‘Humbled Heart’ I read ‘mumbled heart’. Maybe God is trying to speak to me. Maybe my heart is more mumbled than humbled. What a thought!

What is mumbled? The synonyms would be inarticulate, garbled, incoherent, unintelligible and incomprehensible. Wow. The definition says to speak or utter something quietly and unclearly without opening the mouth very much or an indistinct and quiet utterance.

I wonder if my heart is unclear and unintelligible. Does God hear my heart even when it doesn’t ‘speak’ clearly? Do I have to make him work extra hard to define what I am really meaning? Have I taught myself to think my heart is more humbled than mumbled? Have I convinced myself how to be humble?

Wow. A mumbled heart, eh? That is something to ponder.

For anyone that has read my posts they know that I am trying to figure out what makes a good blog without selling out. I don’t want to write just for writing sake. But I am like y’all and I wonder what makes you guys read some but not others. What draws one to read or read all the way through? Is it a good title, a short post, a reflective moment or ‘chance’?

I am running four separate blogs. Three are identical in their posts. The reason for that is to help me relearn my computer and the internet. Each site requires different things in order to post ‘their way’. So it makes me learn each of them through repetition.

Each has a visitor counter. Two come with the blog so I am limited in how much knowledge I can have beyond sheer numbers. The third is my own counter that can give me stats. I use them to see what makes the numbers move. I do not mean in a scientific sense. I am NOT just writing to generate numbers. But like I said at the beginning of the post, I am curious about what makes one post get read versus another not so much. What makes folks comment versus others that go completely silent?

I see other bloggers that get comments as soon as they post. I see some that have never received a comment.

Am I living for the comments? (Like in a previous post… I do get extra invisible points for comments!!) I posted tonight and started to get comments. I wondered why. My first reaction was… cool! But as I read one that was short and simple I was hit with the realization that it is extremely humbling that anyone at all is even reading my stuff. I am just another blogger in blog-world. I write ok. From my heart. I tend to be a ‘little’ harsh and will cut with a knife if I think you want to play religious games and think no one see’s. I am down to earth and don’t like to play games of any sort although I am trying a lighter shade of glasses these days without veering from compromising the truth.

I sit here humbled. I believe… no wait, this is NOT a religious statement… but I believe it has to be God. Ok so that doesn’t sound super-spiritual I will explain. The counter stats said Tuesdays were the biggest hits between 9:30 pm and 11:30. I pondered that and wanted to be able to post something somewhat profound for Tuesday to see what would happen- to see if the stats were on track. Funny thing… on the site where the stats told me this I received all of 2 unique visitors for the 24 hour period. But on this site where I almost thought I was the only one alive is where I got the most hits and comments. So I think it would be fair to chalk it up to Divine interception. Either way I still sit here quite humbled and am prayerfully concerned that what I am writing will glorify God and never stray from the truth.

I was sprucing up the house this morning for company. I already have company but more was coming. Most around me tend to call me a clean freak. I used to be Quality Control for the largest janitorial service in Colorado. Still I wouldn’t consider myself a freak about it. I am certainly anal about some things. Does cleaning come before friends, family or the Lord? NO! I just try to schedule my time and because I am so fast, I can be done in less than half the time most could do it. That actually frees up my time. And I am actually a lot slower in my aging years!

I wanted things to smell nice so I was spraying down the bedspread and pillows and carpets. I had a wild thought. What if we never had to wash things and we could just perpetually spray them with good smells. My second thought was… yuck! Then I realized that there are folks out there that do that.

There used to be a product that you could spray in your hair instead of washing it! I think it was around in the 70’s. It was like a powder that was supposed to absorb the oils and give you the ‘just clean’ look. I don’t think the product was a big enough of a hit to have gone long.

We folks do that with our lives, religious and social. We tend always to be looking for the easy way out - the quickest way to accomplish something. A 20 ounce double shot caramel macchiato with whole milk is easier to buy the wife than to reach in the deep reserves of the heart and give her a piece of your sincerest affections. Sometimes letting the husband buy the new toy is easier than the wife having to relinquish herself in the bedroom. Praying the rosary twenty times is easier than letting Jesus have full control over every portion of your life for his glory.

Some call it ‘instant gratification’. Little kids know it as ‘Now!’ McDonald’s made a profit from it. People just don’t want to get profound, go long, persevere, be reflective, or live passionately without sin.

While our salvation was procured for us, there is still lots we need to ‘do’ in order to keep out hearts in the proper mode to continually hear the Shepherds voice.

My first prayer is that I would desire to go long, persevere, get profound, be passionately reflective, remember the price that was paid for me, and be still enough to always hear the voice of my Shepherd. My second prayer is that would be your prayer also.