The Truth About the Crucifixion ~~ A Dawnism Disclaimer ~ This is my interpretation of the crucifixion just for today. This is not THE truth but a Dawnism for the day.

I am thinking today that the truth behind the crucifixion is that it was solely perpetrated by the Christians themselves! Let me explain. I am sure you have noticed that you have had one, two or more truly well-meaning Christian friends or ‘brothers and sisters in the Lord’ that had a ‘word’, ‘prophecy’ or something other to give you straight from Gods mouth. I am sure you have heard that they prayed about ‘your’ situation and God told them thus and thus. Therefore, you need to do this or that or you will be out of Gods will.

This is a redundant problem. It is kind of like being constipated or having hemorrhoids. Not everyone has the problem. Just a selected group that fit into whatever category of bad eating patterns or maybe an over-indulgence problem. On the spiritual front I think I will call this a ‘Plethora of Pastors Pride’ and they certainly have no problem with passing it down to the flock.

Ok, so we all know I am going through a divorce. Why would these Christian folks ask me something as dense as, ‘Have you prayed about this?’ Uh.. golly no… I flipped a quarter. What do you think! Of course, I prayed about it! Constantly, non-stop, persistently, relentlessly, all the time, frequently, always!!! (Doinks!)What do they think? While I was getting a pedicure I flipped a coin and it… fell in the water unseen… so I flipped another and… it said, go ahead and divorce the bloke???

Come on now dear fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord! Are you so gullible and filled with your own fanciful delusions to think that only YOU hear from God? That you are so mighty that only YOU pray continuously?? That God only speaks through YOU??

Then… oh my I feel a Pentecostal movement about to happen… the Holy Spirit is shaking me… never mind, it’s gone. Ok, then… and don’t get me wrong, I have so been there, done that and shoved the t-shirts down their throats, we have the gall to think that our way is THE way! And unfortunately this tends to come from the babies in Christ! The single person will coach me on my marriage, the childless couple will tutor me on child rearing, and the newlywed will instruct me on how to make my marriage last?? EH? What’s up with that?

Yes, I remember the scripture that says that God will give wisdom and to not to let them despise your youth or something like that but again all this needs to be taken into historical and biblical context.

What happened to being prudent? When I was younger, I would have never had the gall to tell an elder one, meaning someone older than me, older in years, marriage, experience, etc., that I knew better than they did. Any book learning I could have acquired would never equal to real life experiences. Yet we have these well-meaning Christians all running around giving words out like candy at Halloween time! They consider themselves God’s special messengers. They are so puffed up in their delusion that God not only talks to them but they are his mouthpiece.

Well fancy that! But guess what? He speaks to me too. I may not be living my Christian life the way you think I should be. I may not interpret the bible the way you do. I may not believe all the things that were illegitimately taught to me in all those years of my church going. But I am in the best place God has for me for right now in my life and IF… I say IF I am doing something wrong… IF I am hearing wrong… IF I am interpreting the scriptures wrong then have faith my friend that God is more than able to speak to me and lead me into all truth… maybe in his time… not yours.

If you spend so much time praying and hearing from God about things other Christians should be doing then continue to pray, not for revelation into my situation but that God would give me the revelation into his perfect will and peace throughout.

Why do I think, for today, that the Christians crucified Christ? Because ‘Christians’ can be judgmental, prideful (Godly pride of course), know-it-alls, condescending, snobby, and all too religious for their own good and Gods. ‘Christians’ will stab you with their pious words; slap you with their godliness and call you on the carpet if you don’t do it their way. They will rebuke you and say God told them to do it to justify their actions.

The bible tells us who really crucified Jesus on that day he died upon the cross. But we crucify him daily with out righteous thoughts, copious thoughts, and wicked hearts.

Father, forgive me for being righteously rude, for crucifying your son repeatedly by my self-righteous acts and condemning words. Help me to be a true follower of Christ and not just a follower of the movement of Christianity. Cause me to seek your face for all my needs and to learn to wait on you. Let me rest in your peace and the words that you have given to me for me. I love you Father and desire to do good for your glory.

And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.~~ Jeremiah 3:8

All my years in the church taught me quite a bit. It taught more bad than good unfortunately. I was 24 with three children, and just lost a baby. Two of my kids were deathly ill requiring me to be in the emergency room 3 nights a week, multiple weekly doctor visits, breathing machines and bottle upon bottle of medications. My husband at the time ran home to his mommy every other month for a month or two. That wasn’t the bad part. That was the good times. When he was home, there was a constant barrage of mental abuse towards the kids and me. I grew up with mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. I tried for the sake of Christianity and the church to hold on and pray it through.

Late one night while on a personal prayer vigil I decided that if God intended my kids to be abused then maybe he wasn’t who I wanted for a god. Certainly, my God would not want me to keep my kids in this situation. I decided on a divorce and 2 days after telling my husband my decision he had me served the papers.

I struggled so hard for fear that I was letting God, the church and Christianity down because I was unable to uphold the scriptures. The one that comes to mind is ‘God hates divorce’.

That was 23 years ago. Wow. I am almost twice as old. Twice as wise? Not so much! But here I am going through an unwanted divorce. Again, in my spirit or flesh I want to find the scriptures that will tell me easily if God will be eternally mad at me, if I will lose my rewards, or if he will ever talk to me again. Geez, how many times can a person go through this divorce process in a life without being disowned or something?

I started a Google search for biblical answer to ‘God’ and ‘divorce’ and funny thing what I bumped into. God divorced Israel! What!?? Oh, I am sure I heard that taught somewhere in my almost 3 decades of Christianity but it certainly was not one of those loud, get in your face messages the preachers wanted you to take notes, get the CD and remember for your life. No not this one!

Now my Christian friends are reminding me that God in fact did not divorce Israel but that he was just giving her an ultimatum. So being the diligent person that I am, I went to the Greek. I am not trying to bring on opposition, rather I NEED to be able to discern for myself what the scriptures say and mean for myself apart from all my well-meaning Christian friends and pastors thoughts.

Greek for ‘bill of divorce’: bill= letter (of instruction), written order, commission, request, written decree, legal document, certificate of divorce, deed of purchase, indictment, sign. Divorce= divorce, dismissal, divorcement.

That sounds like a full-fledged divorce to me! It doesn’t sound like or imply an ultimatum.

Then I hear about a verse in Malachi that says, ‘God hates divorce!’ Wow. That is strong. But when I go to look it up I cannot find it. I will write a second part of this blog to show my finding on what Malachi was talking about.

One reading, which was very helpful, can be found at http://www.tyndale.cam.ac.uk/Brewer/3Weddings.htm. This person did an in-depth study for Tyndale on God and divorce. It is very enlightening. Either in this paper or one that was a writing about this paper it said that the reason God hated divorce was because he went through one and knew the pain involved in loving one so deeply and being shunned. He completely understood the depths of the broken heart and all the pain involved. They said this is why he truly hated divorce. It could be. I will have to research before I give my yea or nay on that one.

Either way, what I learned this week is that God himself got divorced and that he is not going to cut me off for doing something that he himself did. My God is not a hypocrite. If it was ok for him then I am sure it might be ok for me. Is it the best decision? Who knows? Divorce is never easy for either partner. There was a cleaving and now a strong pulling apart. For me unfortunately, the pulling apart started or happened a long time ago. This is just ending what has started too long ago.

The paper I mentioned above says a lot more. Maybe I will write more on that. I know that this is a touchy subject. The very people that they are putting their trust in mislead most Christians. Why won’t a Christian church tell you that God got divorced? Or that this walk with Jesus is not about a set of do’s and don’ts. Jesus came to abolish the Ten Commandments yet we allow ourselves to be roped in by them again and call it obedience or submission or some other silly name that the institutions have chosen.

Be blessed and enjoy God today!!

I feel that I am married only on paper yet some well meaning Christians want to bring up all the marriage scriptures. I am not trying to negate the wisdom or validity of the scriptures. Yet they do need to be taken into a historical and a contextual way. You need to look at the character and consistency of who God is before you can make specific distinctions on what a single or two verses really says. Let’s look at the two situations. Married as a piece of paper and married as a commitment.

Married as a piece of paper:

If I am married only on paper due to the fact that there is no physical, emotional or spiritual ‘blending’ between my husband and I then it would be fair to say that a person that repeats a salvation prayer and gets a little certificate saying they are ‘born-again’ is truly born-again. They do not have to act born-again but by virtue of that piece of paper and them repeating some words after a man they are born-again.

Married as a commitment:

If you look upon my marriage as a commitment that my husband and I made yet the dedication is not being appropriated daily or regularly, is there really a commitment being upheld? If I make a vow to follow Christ then get all consumed within the church, the events and the hype of American-Christianity is there a real commitment to Christ or to the institution and tradition?

Christ is looking for a bride without spot or wrinkle. He is looking for a pure bride. One that is completely and totally dedicated to doing his will and seeking his heart in all matters. He will come back one day for this very bride and say to the rest ‘depart from me I never knew you’.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. ~~Matthew 7:22-23

It goes on to speak of being doers of the word and not just hearers. The character of God says that he is not interested in your speech of being a born-again Christian or even that you have an 8’X11’ glossy certificate in a pine wood frame on your wall to prove it. He doesn’t care how many Lexicons, dictionaries, bibles or study notes you have. He is not interested in your highlighter collection or how many version of the bible you have on CD. He only sees your heart. That is the true character of God and the culmination of the complete and fulfilled word of God. He has always and only looked for your heart.

If the heart of my marriage has been lost, broken or stolen then the crux of the marriage is gone. Yes, I can hear the super spiritual folks saying, ‘But God can heal that marriage! You need to trust Gawd and have
F-aiiith!’ First, I have been. Second, nowhere in the bible does it say God will heal my marriage. My husband is his own entity. God will not twist his arm to be a proper husband or to love me. God is not going to over-step my husband’s will and zippity-zap him with a heart for me. My husband has to want it.

Like salvation, one must want it or see their need for God to intervene in their lives. He cannot and will not zippity-zap people into his kingdom or else we would all be a heap of robots and the hearts content would be void.

God does not want a mass of hypocrites playing church and saying they are Christians to be in his kingdom. He is looking for a spotless bride of unimaginable worth in his eyes and heart. I too want this in my life. It is hard to have a piece of paper that says I am married but that is all that holds us together. I want someone that will love me for who I am, see the beauty in my service, dedication, and love. Someone I can pour my love out to without being emotionally assaulted or rejected.

Is this too much to ask for? This is all God is wanting.

It is not my intention to butcher scriptures for the sole purpose of justifying my actions. God knows my heart. And he is the one I will stand in judgment before. Good or bad. Just as you will be accountable for your relationship with him ~ whether it is on paper or written on your heart.