In my family my husband wears the perpetual silver lined pink glasses while I wear the darker tinted ones. We both continually joke about how each other sees the world through our glasses.

My husband and I have both grown up in a harsh reality of bitterness, disappointments, abuse and dysfunction. He chooses not to dwell in all the ‘yuck’ of life by trying to change his world by changing his outlook. He chooses to see Jesus as the ever loving God of peace, kindness and all things wonderful. This is somewhat commendable if it didn’t HAVE to find the rosy in EVERY situation.

I will use this illustration to summarize the difference between the pink and the dark glasses. When your child dies, your job is dissolved, the water main breaks and a tornado is forecasted for the next hour the fact is that these things are happening and they are going to hurt and they are real. Yes one could remain calmer and not freak and this could be viewed as a positive outlook and you may be able to smile big and quote positive things to cheer you through but there is not a pink pair of glasses around that will change the reality of what is happening. When you wake up tomorrow the problems are still there. It is not to say that the dark glasses person will freak when all this happens. It is to say that they will take it all for what it is worth, try to level out the processes as they are happening, look at all the possibilities available and work with the best common sense possible.

I view the pink glasses as looking at life not just in a positive light, begging to see the good in everything and finding the silver lining in every coffin but that they are fuzzy and somewhat blurry in their perception of reality. I think that the true concept behind pink glasses is that they are mainly worn by folks that are disillusioned with life and reality the way it is and they choose to bypass this reality and view it the way ‘they want’ – pink, rosy and brightly lit.

I on one hand have worn and cherished my dark tinted glasses because it has seemed to keep me from stepping into, what my husband chooses to see as a garden of flowers, but is really a pile of prickly weeds. It has kept me in a more balanced reality. It causes me to not see Jesus as a flowery, peaceful dude but as a righteous, holy God to be revered. It causes me to see my sin and fall on my face with a broken heart of humility and repent not just because I sinned but that I sinned against a God that has offered me life. My dark tinted glasses keep me from superimposing my desires on God and it blocks the glare of the world’s enticements. It shelters me from the dazzling shine of pretty sins.

The driver in a car that has its windows tinted dark does not have impaired vision but a cleared vision without the brilliant dazzling and blinding lights coming at him from all sides.

Behind my shades I see the clear light of a holy God. Whether I wear pink, green or dark glasses I desire to see life through the eyes of Jesus. I desire to see life in a way that glorifies him in me.

Yes, I can hear folks wondering where the happy median is. But Damale, where is the moderation? Why so black and white? So left and right? First, moderation is a common extrapolation of Aristotle's Doctrine of the Mean not a biblical term. Second, Christ was quite adamant about the left and the right, the sheep and the goats, to be written in the Book of Life or to be blotted out, etc. Most of what Jesus taught was that you either are or are not. To play the religious game half way and expect full credit didn’t go over well with him.

It is a harsh cold world and I don’t mind wearing pink glasses on a rare occasion when I need to overlook something in order to show the love of God but I cannot and will not don them to overlook sin in my life or yours. I prefer to remember Jesus all tore up and bloodied on the cross for MY sins (not hanging all pretty-boy-like). I want to remember Jesus as one that was not comely in appearance. I want to recognize that he didn’t wear the ‘just bleached’ white robes and his feet were not soft. I am sure he didn’t walk around with a glowing halo around his just washed hair. I want to see that when I deny him it tears at the core of our relationship.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. ~ 1Corinthians 13:12

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The give and take scenario is exemplified in the parent/child relationship. From the moment of conception we as humans begin to take. We extract from the umbilical cord all the nutrients we might need to continue to live. We are born and continue our great need upon our parents for everything. As infants we can not seem to sleep, eat, or release bodily functions without our parents help.

Our parents teach us to use the toilet, eat with a fork, tie our shoe laces and use proper hygiene. They help with schoolwork, riding a bike, and driving a car. They exemplify the use of a budget, how to get and keep a job and how to maintain relationships.

Maybe I am seeing too deep with the pink glasses in using the stereotypical family concept. My glasses are far from pink and I am all too aware that too many families are severely dysfunctional in these basic concepts. Ozzie and Harriet made us all think that was they way it was. I am not emotionally deaf. I know not all families run in the Nelson perfection.

But when we turn this scenario towards God the Father and us who claim him as Lord it is not nearly as dysfunctional. He desires to teach us all the important things we need to grow spiritually. He is not affected by the passing tides of religious fads and facades. He functions with or without us. He would stand to be even if we did not exist. He is the stalwart parent loving us when we are most unlovable. When we throw a temper tantrum and insist on having our way or are adamant that our way is right or better he sits and waits and then lovingly and gently reminds us he is God. I am so glad he is God.

I grew up in the ultra-dysfunctional family setting. I hear a lot of folks say that they are unable to view God as a loving parent because their father beat them or molested them. Been there done that and got three shirts and a key chain. Move on. One of the main reasons one would view God as harsh parent that they could never love is because they have already tested him beyond what they should and are still trying to convince him that their immature ways are far better than what he is presenting them with. And thus in their need to prove their way is better they end up not having a loving God figure to give them approval so he ends up becoming the angry, unreasonable, ogre.

My daughter asked me what happens if her son tries to touch the glass on the fireplace. I said he would burn his little fingers and hopefully he wouldn’t want to touch it again. But if he insisted then it would be a matter of time and growth that he would succumb to the reality that touching the hot glass is fairly stupid… and it hurts!

Father God will do the same. If you want your life the way it is; if you are happy the way you are then he will let you have it. But don’t wah-wah that he isn’t there to help you when you on a whim decide you ‘need’ something from him then push him away when you are finished. He is so patient and he will wait, wait, and wait. When you are ready to give up to his ways and relinquish your tries at ‘undoing the dysfunction’ he will be right there for you.

God is who God is. He is the ever-loving, truly loyal, compassionate and caring God amongst gods that sent his only son to die for your redemption and adoption into deeper and higher ways. Until our hearts truly desire repentance and to be like him and see like he does then we will continue to be the takers while he is the definitive giver.

I recently read someone else’s blog that was extolling the virtues of Oprah’s giving heart. The first two things that came to mind as I read were the verses in Mark 12 and Matthew 6.

And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called unto him his disciples, and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living. ~ Mark 12:41-44

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. ~ Matthew 6:1

Oprah is worth 1.1 billion dollars. She is giving out of her excess not from her from her want. If a man from the Bronx sold his house and car to do something like this then he would be doing an extra-ordinary terrific thing before God. I am sure that any giving she has done did not put a niche in her wallet and more than likely she got the tax credit for it also. From a secular human standpoint she did a great thing even if it was for P.R. sake. From a Christian/religious perspective what she did earns her no kudos. (Yes, I understand she is not calling herself a follower of Christ.)

I wonder if Oprah does any ‘secret’ giving done completely anonymously. That would be a greater virtue to extol. It is sad though when folks desire the attention and kudos from other humans rather than from their Creator.

And in regard to them the prophecy of Isaiah is receiving signal fulfilment: `You will hear and hear and by no means understand, and you will look and look and by no means see. For this people's mind is stupefied, their hearing has become dull, and their eyes they have closed; to prevent their ever seeing with their eyes, or hearing with their ears, or understanding with their minds, and turning back, so that I might heal them. "But as for you, blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. For I solemnly tell you that many Prophets and holy men have longed to see the sights. ~ Matthew 13:14-17

I suppose if all the money in the world will not buy her spiritual understanding then she should at least spend it on doing something that will earn her secular human respect and admiration… oh, and some good P.R. also.

I would that God were laughing at me, yet I fear He is crying. God does not care about all our religious efforts especially when it is us humans getting the praise and glory instead of him.

And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commands all men every where to repent: Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead. ~ Acts 17:30-31

In my art I do portraitures of people. I take a photo that folks give me and I create art out of it. I can erase blemishes and lines, add color or a tan, add a special background, give the whole picture a dreamy glow and then make it look as if it was painted in watercolor, oils, pastels or more. The end result can be quite different than the beginning. The women are usually happy with the upgrades. There are so many things I can do to make them 'model-like'.

Recently I had a woman that isn’t too happy with her overall appearance admit the difference I could make in her facial exterior. But forlornly she went on to also say, 'I wish someone could do that for my insides'. That was so sad.

In one graphics program I use there is a ‘healing brush tool’. I use it to take care of blemishes or any imperfection. This woman knows of Christ but hasn’t given her wretchedness over to him to ‘heal’. God has the ultimate healing tool.

In Matthew 13 Jesus was speaking in parables and his disciples were asking him why. He started an explanation then said in verses 15 & 16,

For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; 'lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.’ But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear'.

God can do a far better job at healing emotional and spiritual blemishes if we just let him in to do the work. He is like an artist that won’t start the work until they are officially commissioned. Come humbly before your Maker and commission him to start a new work in you lest at any time you should see with your eyes, and hear with your ears, and should understand with your heart, and should be converted, and he should heal you.

In most relationships there is a giver and a taker. It isn’t cut and dry as in one only gives and the other only takes. But typically there is one partner that gives more than takes and the other tends to take more than give.

The giver usually likes to give for various reasons whether it is from an emotional need to be recognized, to gain credit or because they genuinely enjoy giving. Most true givers love to do it anonymously and watch from afar. A number of givers are prone to not being able to receive. That is a hard reality that eventually gets worked out with time and maturity.

Some takers are just that. They are self-absorbed and just suck from every situation in their life. They usually drain the folks closest to them and do not have the ability to acquire true relationships. There are other folks that just ‘are not’ givers thus they fall into the taker position. Maybe no one taught them how to give or the joy in giving. Or perhaps the two people are givers but one usually exceeds the other in their desire to give.

‘Takers’ do not necessarily enjoy receiving. True receiving requires a fragment of humility and most takers do not clothe themselves in meekness. They almost feel as if the world is obligated to them for something, everything or anything. And golly gee, that they truly deserve it so even if they can ‘receive’ something it is cloaked in a pride that thinks you owed it to them anyhow.

Unfortunately our relationship with Christ is the same. He, for obvious reasons is the giver and thus we become the takers. We can receive or take his salvation, blessings, healings, and anything else we perceive that he has that we don’t have and we want. We pray with our hands outstretched asking for a host of things for him to do for us. We go to church and look for the blessings. We read our bibles and think we will get extra kudos for the good deed. We spend so much time looking for what more he can do for us or give to us to make our lives fruitful.

For the most part our relationships with our Maker are one of take, take, take and then ask for more to take. And God in his graciousness continues to give sometimes to our own detriment. We become fat and content and begin to worship the golden calf.

When our relationship with the Lord is like this it lacks definition and the character to be a true relationship. There has to be a give and take together. There is so much we can bring to God and give him. Our heart. Our obedience. Our lives. Our daily situations. Our jobs. Our families. Our lives stripped open to be used for his glory. Our willingness to let him bring us into his perfection and maturity.

What if we tried to out give God? I know the churches like to teach the unscriptural New Testament practice of tithing and would talk about trying to out give God. But what if we tried to out give him in heart, emotional and physical principles? What if we tried to take our prayer life and instead of asking for all he can do for us, we ask what we can do for him? Instead of going to the scriptures to find the ‘blessing of the day’ you go trying to find the heart of God and see what new thing he wants to do in you today? What if we go to church not expecting a blessing but are there to be a blessing to our Creator? What if we made an honest effort to see how many things we could do to turn the tides just a tad in him being the giver and us the takers?

I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring you ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. ~ Acts 20:35